Spanking is one of the most common kinks. If you’ve been feeling tingles at the mere thought, we here at RandyFox is assuring you that there is no need to fret. You are not alone in this. Truth be told, when it comes to dipping your toes into the BDSM pool or when you want to explore your sexual desires, erotic spanking is the best place to start.

PipeDream Icicles No. 38 Glass Dildo And Whip 

What is erotic spanking?

Erotic spanking is pretty much what it says it is – it is spanking as an act for the erotic and sexual pleasure it brings. The spanking itself can be gentle, rough, painful, or even romantic. It all depends on what the spanker and spankee is turned on by.

Erotic spanking is also known as consensual play. The spanking is usually done to the buttocks but it can sometimes be relegated to the upper thighs and other areas with fatty tissue.

Spanking can be part of a fantasy or a role play. It can be done as part of a warm-up or during intercourse. It can be done to tease a partner or as a way to engage in power play. Many people (the spanker or the top) spank by hand, while others prefer to use toys.

 Sex And Mischief Sex & Mischief XOXO Paddle

Different Spanking Sensations and Spanking Implements

To give you an overview, here are some spanking implements and the sting level.

SPANKING IMPLEMENT

SPLOTCH / WELT

STING LEVEL

Hand

Light Splotches

4

Strap

Bright Splotches

6

Paddle

Patterned Splotches

8

Flogger

Many Thin Welts

9

Crop

Red Splotch Welts

9

Cane

Red Raised Welts

10

Tawse

Thick Red Welts

10 ½

Whip

Thin Red Welts

11

 

A palm of the hand or thick heavy paddle can provide deep, resonating, penetrative yet dull, deep tissue stimulation; while a light wooden paddle, wooden spoon, and a hairbrush can provide more shallow stimulation, a sharp biting.

When spanking with a bare or leather-gloved hand, cupping the hand tends to create more thud while holding it flat with fingers spread creates more sting. Some people find that having the hand or paddle bounce back off the rump after a strike to be more pleasurable for both parties, rather than striking with solely a forward motion. Others like a “spank-and-grab” sensation. Find a nice, steady rhythm. Some people like to time it to the music they’ve got playing. Just change it up every so often to keep arousal up.

Randy Fox - Beginners Bondage Whip 

Guide to Spanking

1. Communicate with your partner.

Discuss your erotic spanking desires. Set your boundaries, intentions, and desires. A boundary is something that you do not want to do. Intention is the mindset is what you hope the experience to be – an experience you want to have but don’t necessarily have expectations for. Desire is what you want or want to do.

2. Spanker or Spankee?

Discuss the roles that you and your partner will take. A strong reminder, under no circumstance should dominants work out any real-life resentment with their partner while engaging in the act of erotic spanking.

3. Safe word/s.

Safewords are non-sexual words that alert our partner when we’re not liking something, feel uncomfortable, or want the play to stop altogether. If you’re not sure what word to choose, it can be anything that you normally wouldn’t say, something easy to remember that pulls people out of the elation and makes them re-focus.

Many couples opt for the “traffic light” system:

Green = Give me more! I love it!

Yellow = I’m nearing my limit. Something needs to be adjusted

Red = STOP ALL PLAY!

Whatever the safe words you eventually decide on, it is imperative that the dominant/spanker should obey and immediately see to the emotional and/or physical needs of their sub/spankee.

4. Consider bruising.

As part of your preparations and communication, discuss with your partner the location and severity of the sort of marks you're comfortable with. Some people love the thought of coming away from an erotic session with battle scars while others might not be as comfortable with the idea.

5. Warm up and start with the butt.

Take it slow at first. Allow the sub’s butt to get used to the spank. There is also a reason why the butt is the target, at least at first. First off, it is the largest muscle on the body. Second, it’s were people, especially women, store a significant amount of body fat which means is absorbs impact without any bones getting banged up. Third, it is generally covered in clothing and other people need not know about your activities. Finally, he butt has close proximity to the genitals. During sex and foreplay, a lot of blood courses through these areas; a sharp slap to the buttocks actually increases blood flow and, as a result, arousal.\

6. Find a rhythm and alternate between spanks, squeezes, and rubs.

A mixture of soft and stinging sensations will make for a more dynamic and memorable erotic spanking session.