Now this is a common scenario.  You and your partner’s sex life is super charged and going great for years on end.  You can’t get enough of each other and seem perfectly content with each other as lovers.  Then, a little bundle of joy comes along (or two or three)…and suddenly your life consists of little more than full time babysitting, parenting, disciplining and shopping.  (And you’re lucky to get an hour of sleep!)

It’s a common scenario, so don’t feel like you are alone. There’s nothing greater than having children, but does it have to spell the end of our sex lives? Surely not!

The End Perhaps?

Once you and your partner have children, what usually goes first is your sex life.  It’s something everyone enjoys and yet sometimes is perceived as the least important factor in a happy marriage once a couple has children.  It’s not!  While sex isn’t the most important thing in your life, it’s far from the least important thing when you put everything into perspective, which is an important step to bringing back some of the marriage spark.  A sexless marriage can result in strained relationships, intense confrontation, boredom or even thoughts or actions of infidelity.  Ignoring your lack of sexual fulfilment, figuring you’re a full time parent now, is at worst a downward spiral into relationship destruction, and at best, a sad way to end a wonderful romance. Instead of chalking up your lack of passion to a side effect of having children, why not instead confront the issue and work at a resolution that will make you and your partner happy? 

Make Time for Love.

Avoiding the parent trap is all a matter of effective scheduling.  Just as you have to plan for vacations and plan for a new exercise routine, so too you have to plan a better sex life.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to plan a set day and time to do the deed, as that can seem unromantic.  However, it does mean that you should prepare for possible interruptions. For one, do not let your children overstep their boundaries and take control of your life. Seems like a simple enough rule, but one that is often forgotten. If children interrupting your intimacy is becoming a problem, then arrange for some partner time, after all there’s nothing wrong with having your kids looked after by someone you trust every once in a while. This could mean either a babysitter or a close relative.  After all, most family members jump at the chance!  This will allow you to be with your mate in a romantic context, free from worry and stress.  You can have a romantic dinner and let the night take its course.  You don’t necessarily lose the spontaneity; instead, you lose the distraction.

You Can Have Better Sex and a Happy Family Life!

When your kids are at home, make sure that they have regular bed times, and encourage them as often as possible to sleep in their own beds.  Children must learn a pattern of bedroom etiquette; not only to ensure your privacy, but so they can slowly learn how to function as adults over time.  As for waking up the children, you have two options: keep it quiet or invest in soundproof walls! You can also install a lock on the door (of either a bedroom or bathroom) and have some private fun.  If you need some “encouragement” or are feeling awkward about getting “back onto the saddle” then feel free to pick up an adult toy or mood setter from our vast selection. Many couples often find an adult toy is just what they need to provide a fresh perspective, and with the vast array available these days, you’re sure to never run out of fresh ideas!  You can store these toys under lock and key and use them anywhere—even in the shower or tub!

In the end, it’s all about dedicating some time to yourselves and not forgetting the reason you fell in love in the first place.  You want to raise your children right and so you make time for them.  Likewise, if you want to keep your sex life red hot, you must make time for it and make it right.  Why not have the best of both worlds and keep things interesting! :)