You’ve seen it on TV. You’ve seen it in the movies. And you’ve probably heard your peers talk about it casually. From what you’ve gathered, sex sounds like a lot of fun. Otherwise it won’t be a topic almost everywhere, and it looks like everyone’s doing it already. But have you asked yourself lately, “Am I ready for sex?”

Why Do You Want to Have Sex?

With all the buzz going around, we can’t blame you if you suddenly grow curious and want to give it a try. But why do you really want to have sex? Think hard, and be brutally honest to yourself!

Try to look at the options below and determine which ones apply to you as to why you want to give it a go:

"It looks normal for people my age to have sex."

"I don’t want to be the odd person out in our posse."

"My partner says he/ she will be gentle, so I won’t have to worry."

"All the popular ones do it, and I see it everywhere everyday."

"I think I’m ready, I’ve done a few research here and there."

Now if the first four resonates with you, chances are it’s a bad idea to try and have sex. But if you answered the last one, then good for you. Having sex is a big, personal decision. Remember, the question is why do YOU want to have sex, not why do others want you to do it. It’s your body, so it should be of your own volition to even consider intercourse.

Factors That Say You May Be Ready

So let’s say you’re trying to look for telltale signs that would say that, indeed, you are ready. There are no definite signals, but here are some information that may mean you have a green light.

You’re Of Legal Age

There are plenty of reasons why your age is an important factor when it comes to readiness with having sex. For starters, it is understood that when you’ve come of age, then you have more or less matured already - physically, emotionally, and mentally. Furthermore, there are laws pertaining to your age that are meant to protect you, not restrict you. Take that into consideration when thinking about sex.

You’re Prepared

In every endeavour, preparation is key - this includes intercourse. Are you aware of the possible risks when it comes to sex? This includes having proper knowledge about how sex works, the sensation of doing it for the first time, pregnancy, contraception, and what STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) are. If you’ve done your homework and are on top of everything there is to know, then here’s a gold star for you!

You’re Thinking Clearly

Before you even consider having sex with anyone, consider the environment and situation you’re in. Are you thinking clearly? Are you under the influence of alcohol? Are you feeling down and someone starts consoling you with physical touch? Remember, you need to have a good head over your shoulders when it comes to sex. When you’re not thinking as well as you should, chances are you could end up doing things you’d regret.

You’re In Control

When we say you should be in control, we don’t necessarily mean you have to be the dominant partner. What we mean is that you should not be pressured to doing anything you’re not ready to do. You’re having sex because you want to, not because someone gave you conditions. You know you can say no when things get uncomfortable. You have a “safe word” - utter this and put things on a complete halt. You thought the safe word was just for BDSM? Nope!

You Have a Trustworthy Partner

What does it mean when you have a trustworthy partner? It means that this person makes you feel safe in all sense of the word - from others and even from him/ her. That individual would never ask you to do anything that makes you feel uneasy and out of your comfort zone. You share the same idealisms, and even if not at the same level, you both make just compromises. If those are all ticked, then congratulations! And good job for picking the right partner!

Things to Ask Yourself Before Deciding

So if all those boxes are checked, does it mean you’re ready? There’s a big chance. But ultimately, the choice is yours. So before you take that exciting and life-changing leap, ask yourself these questions first.

Am I Comfortable?

When we discuss how comfortable you are with the concept, it means a lot of things. It can be how comfortable you are with your own body (and you should be!), if you’re okay with doing it with your partner, and if you aren’t forced. Ponder deeply on your comfort zone, because things start there for a reason. This is your circle of safety, so work your way from it.

Am I Prepared for the Risks?

Like what we’ve talked about earlier, there are risks involved when it comes to sex. So if you’re not ready to be pregnant, make sure you have protection. Even if pregnancy isn’t an issue, you should always take care of your sexual health. It never hurts to be safe. STIs are just around the corner, so it’s always better to protect both you and your partner.

What are My Expectations?

You’ve probably watched a lot of porn, and chances are you think that’s how things should go. Wrong. More often than not, it skews the reality of how first-time sex feels like. You should evaluate how you think sex will feel like, what you’re supposed to do, and what feels good. You’ll gain more information from trustworthy sources related to sexual health, and it’s not a bad idea to touch yourself, too!

Have I and My Partner Talked About It?

We cannot stress it enough - communication is key. Sex is a two-way street, so it should involve the both of you when it comes to decision-making. What are the things you’re comfortable in doing? What’s your safe word in case something gets out of hand? What do you do after having sex? These are just a few topics to talk about, but be open to each other. This will make the experience better.

Have I Talked to Someone Who Cares For Me?

If you’re still having a hard time deciding, it might be a good idea to bring in your elders. Sounds weird? Watch this clip from the film, “Valentine’s Day.”

You see, it may feel awkward at first to try and talk it over with someone you trust, but the end results are always enlightening. You get a clearer view of things, and that helps you decide. And it doesn’t have to be your grandparents. It can be an older sibling or a friend who’s always looking out for you. They’ll give you advice that will definitely help.

Sex is an enjoyable part of a person’s life. You don’t need to force it if you feel it’s not time yet. But when you think you’re ready, have a quick run through on this list, and we’re confident you’ll be just fine.