First times can be scary, but it can also be a liberating thing. The same goes for sex toys and first time users.

Randy Fox did a little Reddit dive and found two stories of first time dildo use with polar opposite experiences. The best part about this though? How supportive the community is – how accepting and without judgment of explorations and experiences.

Here are the stories with some of the comments from its readers. Hopefully, this inspires our Randy Fox readers as well, especially those who are still thinking whether the time is right to dip their toes into sexual waters.

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 First story is this one from reddit username prettypuffin.

Tried a dildo for the first time and I cried.

“I’m 20, female and a virgin. For the past year, Ive decided to experiment with some different sex toys so I’ve tried some vibrators and small butt plugs but then I decided that I wanted more, so I got a small 4 inch dildo. I had been eager to try one for a long time.

Ive never used a dildo and the most that I’ve used to penetrate have been my fingers. I read some articles before hand and tried to do as told, used a lot of lube and I tried to relax into it, did foreplay. I barely got the tip inside and it started to hurt a bit so then I just stopped and sat on my bed crying. I didn’t expect it to be great on the first try, but I still felt disappointed.

Being a virgin has never bothered me much until I turned 20 and now it’s almost like I’ll never find someone who’d want to be with someone so inexperienced as I am. If I can’t work around a dildo, how is it gonna be during actual sex. I’ve only given one blow job and it wasn’t even that good. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself that I haven’t been able to masturbate or even think about sex without feeling frustrated.

Thinking about trying the dildo again but the idea of it is more of a turn off than a turn on.

Any tips? And are these emotions normal?

Edit: thank you so much everyone! After reading all your advice and experiences I think I need some more practice and experiment with different turn ons and positions! Again thanks ????”

 

Some readers responded in the best way possible, making you feel that there are still safe spaces for vulnerability and that there is still humanity left.

“you need to relax. in fact, anxiety is probably the biggest problem you had when trying to use the dildo. don't worry about your lack of experience being a turn off. most guys aren't turned off by that at all, and many are intimidated by women with more experience than them (we all have our insecurities). this is something you should do for fun, don't put so much pressure on yourself over it.”

- inappropriatelygreat

 

“You worry way too much, first off, being virgin at 20 isn't a bad thing, it might be a good thing actually. You can make your first time way better than it would have been at 15 for example since you'll be more mature. I had sex for the first time at 20 and everything went perfectly well because I was relaxed and did it with someone I had complete trust in, so there was no problem, and what could have been a shitty first time turned out to be a really good one. I know that at the time I felt just like you do, pretty bad about still being a virgin at 20 but now I can tell you that it didn't matter at all and I'm actually glad I waited :) Also, being virgin at 20 is also probably a pretty big turn on for most men, you just have to find someone who'll be gentle and make you relaxed so that everything goes well even if it might hurt a bit. And if it hurts too much it's not a problem either, just try until it doesn't anymore! At least that's my view on it, hope it helps :) “

- guigyy

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On the other hand, reddit username kayokayokk had a completely gratifying first time experience.

i used a dildo for the first time and now i can't stop thinking about it

“i know this is more vanilla than the stories that are usually posted here, but i just wanted to confess it. i'm a 22 yo virgin that only recently started to explore my sexuality, so this is pretty wild for me. i've been wanting to save actual penetration for the real thing but i got bored with the way i was normally masturbating and finally worked up the courage to try my dildo.

holy shit

that was the best orgasm i have ever had and now i can't stop chasing it. i have to be really careful because i don't have lube and if i don't take it slow it hurts, but now it's the only thing i want to do and the only thing i can think of. especially fantasizing about the real thing, whenever i orgasm my hands freeze, god i want to know what it feels like to be fucked through an orgasm

i cant wait for this pandemic to be over”

 

The comments have been an awesome read. Some positive reinforcements and some tips.

“Nothing wrong with vanilla and sounds like you’ve found a good substitute for now. Just wait until you try a dildo and clit vibrator at the same time...”

- Toucan_Play_617

 

“I remember I used to have that problem freezing up whenever I came. My first boyfriend I fooled around with before having sex fingered me to climax then kept going. OMG I couldn't control my limbs it felt so amazing then I came again. It was so intense and I was so sensitive I thought i was gonna die. He got a kick out of it. My legs wouldn't stop shaking and I just wanted to hold him. Have you tried a suction cup dildo? Those make it easier when you ride them.”

- Salty-Object-4332

 

What do you think about the stories?

Do you want to read some more?

You might also be interested to read this confession by a first-timer sex toy user.