More and more couples are enjoying the benefits of using adult toys as an addition to their lovemaking. Introducing vibrators, bondage kits, dildos and other sex toys into a relationship takes some planning, and success hinges on good communication between the partners. There is no doubt that sex toys can be profoundly beneficial to a relationship when each partner is comfortable with the toys they use. How you introduce toys into your sex play can make a substantial difference in the satisfaction each of you derives from their use, so it’s important to communicate and understand each other’s comfort zones. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind as you contemplate your venture into the titillating world of adult toys.

Discuss Adding Adult Toys to Your Lovemaking

Communication is the most important part of any relationship, and nothing is more important than good communication when you’re adding new sexual playthings to your repertoire. It’s important for your partner to understand that you’ll be using adult toys to add to your pleasure as a couple and not to replace him or her. It’s also important to reassure your partner that you don’t need the toys to replace something that is missing from your relationship. As with any new change to a relationship dynamic, the most important thing to focus on is open and effective communication.

Test the Waters

When you’re thinking about introducing sex toys into your relationship for the first time, you need to understand your partner’s level of comfort with such sexual playthings. A humorous, offhanded comment about a particularly interesting toy that you “happened to see” will allow you to gauge your partner’s reaction to the idea of using such a toy. If your partner seems interested, suggest how “interesting” it might be if you brought the item home. In the beginning, it’s best to start with a relatively innocuous toy such as some warming lube or a bullet vibrator. These particular bedroom accessories are far from “kinky,” fairly non-threatening and reasonably mainstream.

Shop Online Together

If your partner shows interest in including some adult toys in your playtime, a great way to select your first items is to shop for them together online. Shopping for sex toys online from the privacy of your home is great fun and completely private. Online browsing also allows you to access a very wide variety of toys and accessories. As you digitally wander through the countless variations of dildos, cock rings, lubricants and other accessories you may awaken interests that you never knew you had.

Introduce New Toys in a Comfortable and Safe Environment

Experimenting with new techniques in the bedroom can be highly stressful if you are constantly interrupted by needy children, telephone calls or other distractions. Plan to make your first experience with adult toys as stress-free as possible by minimising or eliminating likely distractions. Have your children spend the night with friends or relatives, silence your phone’s ringer and create a safe and intimate environment in your bedroom. You’ll both enjoy the experience more, and fears of being overheard will not interfere with your sexual arousal or pleasure.

Start with Gentle Massage

If you have elected to purchase a vibrator, a great way to introduce it to your partner is through gentle, sensual massage. Vibrator-enhanced massage can begin in the same manner as any other non-sexual massage. As you continue the massage, gradually become more sexually focused as your partner relaxes and embraces the soothing vibrations. This gradually sexual process makes the eventual genital stimulation much less jarring than it would be if you began by stimulating your partner’s penis or clitoris directly. Once your partner is enthusiastic about the incredible sensations he or she is experiencing, you can modify your technique to simulate a more “advanced” device. If your partner is male, squeeze the shaft of his erect penis while you vibrate the base. This will simulate the feel of a vibrating cock ring and help him decide if such a toy is something he’d enjoy. If your partner is female, vibrate her clitoris while inserting your fingers into her quivering vagina. If she enjoys this, she’ll no doubt enjoy a couple-oriented vibrator such as the We-Vibe. Using this technique, you can experiment with sensation and simulate many different and exciting adult toys.

There is infinite variety in the wide and wonderful world of adult toys, and the opportunity for experimentation is limitless. With good communication and a playful attitude, introducing sex toys into your relationship can make a good thing even better.