The Importance of Sex in Relationships - Randy Fox

How many of you are currently in a relationship, and how long have you been together? We’re going to guess that during your first few years, you’ve had steamy sex almost daily! But as time went on, are you still doing it regularly or has it dampened? How important is sex in relationships anyway?

You must be thinking, “Must everything be about sex?” Instead of answering it with a simple yes or no (because it’s not that simple at all), let’s look at the 1996 classic film, “The Mirror Has Two Faces.” Gregory Larkin (Jeff Bridges) decides to enter into a relationship with Rose Morgan (Barbra Streisand), but with one, small condition. There must be no physical connection at all - meaning no sex! It didn’t go well, and in the end they realised that while sex isn’t the focus of a relationship, it is part of it.

Now try thinking of that in reverse. You start with so much passion and sex at first, and then it wanes over time. Sounds depressing, right? But it does happen.

Why Does Sex Stop?

We all know that sex is so satisfying - that much is undeniable. So why does it even come to a halt, especially between people who have a bond much deeper than a one night stand?

Couple with Misunderstandings in Bed - Randy FoxPrevious (Numerous) Relationships

In an article published in Men’s Health, it says a person’s past can influence how he/ she deals with his/ her current relationship. It’s not necessarily an issue of numbers; like how many partners he/ she had before. Rather, the argument here is how he/ she has coped with the past bonds he/ she had. For example, if you had numerous partners and it has become routine to part ways, then it becomes fairly easy for you to cut and run. Long story short, it affects how you communicate - and we’ve always mentioned how communication could greatly affect your relationships.

The Little Ones

One of the common things we hear from couples, most especially mothers, is that they get less and less interested in sex when the kids come along. Sounds like an excuse? According to a survey, it’s true!

A total of 1,000 parents took part in a survey where they were asked to hold nothing back in answering questions about the sex and how having kids affect it. The result? Close to half of them said that their sex lives turned for the worst after the children got into the mix, and over 60 percent confessed their libido has decreased. Whew, those numbers are pretty significant.

Everyday Stress

When you’re already “adulting,” you get to worry about a lot of things - the bills, mortgage, daily expenses, and a lot more! That could take a toll on you, and your sex life is no exception.

According to Alicia H. Clark, PsyD PLLC, stress affects libido naturally. Clark explains that when you’re under pressure, your priority is to make sure you survive. That means your body focuses on things that ensures you do make it through in one piece, so things that aren’t necessary at the moment, like sex, is put in the back burner.

Unnecessary Comparison

Another toxic behavior that greatly affects your sex life is undue comparison. You can find it anywhere - porn movies, celebrity fiascos, your previous experiences, and even your friend’s escapades! Try asking yourself, “Is my sex life really broken? Am I contented and happy with it, or I’m just thrown into a jealous fit by what other people show as the norm when it comes to passion?” When you try to look at your relationship through the lens of others, then you’ll just end up dissatisfied and bitter.

Mismatched Libido

Of course, another problem is the difference when it comes to the libido of two people. We have two examples. For one couple, the guy likes sex more than his girl, which causes an imbalance in what they want. And the compromise that one party does with the other not budging at all isn’t helping as well. Then, understandably, there’s the age factor. There are couples who start hot for each other in their 20’s, have totally different libido levels during their 30’s, then by the time they get to their 40’s only one of them is talking about having sex. Complicated stuff, huh?

Reasons Sex Benefits Relationships

Man and Woman Being Playful and Intimate - Randy FoxLike what we’ve mentioned on the get go, sex may not necessarily be the focus of your relationship, but it certainly is important. These are just some of the reasons why.

Triggers Happy Feelings

We all know that love is expressed in various forms, and one of them is physical love. It can be through hugs, kisses, holding each other’s hand, or even sex. Sex can trigger dopamine release, which is considered a happiness hormone. When we profess the affection physically, it gives couples the assurance that the intimacy is still there. That’s something we often take for granted. Sex may vary in frequency, but the energy and positivity derived from it is undeniable.

It Relaxes You

There are a lot of ways that you can de-stress from the everyday pressures. But did you know that sex is also an effective stress-buster?

Physically speaking, cortisol is known as the stress hormone, which is responsible for our alarm response. If you want to normalise that, you need enough oxytocin in your bloodstream. And it just happens that sex can signal our body to release that! Not only does it help you remove stress from your system, but it allows you to feel a deeper bond with your partner.

Rekindles Intimacy

Sometimes people forget that sex is more than just the sexual act itself. The two points we just mentioned stand as proof for it. But another benefit of sex is that it rekindles intimacy even as you step out of the four corners of your bedroom. It’s an expression of love on the physical plane. As you show and receive love through that kind of intimacy, it becomes a loop of positivity and assurance. That is a benefit that pretty much explains why couples who have sex are more confident in their relationships, and it shows!

Practice of Communication

Oh, we know what you’re thinking! When you get down and dirty, you give directions like, “Kiss me here, touch me there, don’t stop!” But that’s not just it, although of course that’s part of the whole practice of communication. Leaning in, a hug, a sweet smile, and more are non-verbal cues. Those are not generic, and they’re unique to two people, thus it creates a sense of exclusivity. And even when you tell your partner your kinks, like perhaps using couple’s sex toys, you become more open to each other.

Promotes Physical Well-Being

Last but certainly not the least, having sex has its health benefits. From promoting cognitive wellness to having immunity-boosting properties, the physical act is more than just pleasure. You want to be with your partner for many years to come, right? Then the longevity provided by intercourse is a welcome bonus. Don’t you agree?

In conclusion, sex is not just about climaxing and all. It’s deeper than that, and it surely is essential in a happy relationship.

The Importance of Sex in Relationships Infographic - Randy Fox